The drug called emotional attachment!!
The drug called emotional attachment that destroys the world every second hasn't spared me either!!
The earliest signs of emotional attachment recorded in my history dates back to a time when I was just four years old!! My father had to go out of station for a week and I was so disconsolate by the separation that I suffered from fever till he returned!!
Since then my life has been marked by several such incidents of addiction to extreme attachment!!
As children my paternal cousins, my immediate elder brother and I always lived in the beautiful and adventurous world created by Enid Blyton in her Famous Five series!! The two long summer months would go in adventurous activities - like reliving the characters in the Famous Five series!! We would make tent houses, exotic fruit drinks,(Ask my eldest brother, who has actually tasted them!!!:P!!), dramatize mythological stories , make crowns, bows, arrows, create settings - In other words it was a period of endless creativity!! It was enjoyment and excitement to its brim!! But summer after summer it was the same feeling when it was time to part with cousins!! It would take us really long to get over the heaviness in the heart and the lump in our throat!!
Decades have passed since then and with each passing year it has been more and more addiction to people! I miss my loved ones!!!! Especially my father and my third brother in law for even if I want to and make Mountainous efforts I still will never ever be able to see them!! Their death has somehow made me a different person!! I have come to realize the value of life and want to make the most of my time with my loved ones!!
Ironically the stronger I feel about about spending most of my time with my loved ones the farther God seems to keep me away from them!! My daughter , my sweet precious daughter is away from me living in a hostel!! Circumstances and necessity being the only reasons for our parting!! Though it is a self made decision it still strikes the deep inner recesses of my heart with an incurable ache !!I am now at a stage of addiction, from where there is no turning back - a total slave to this drug called emotional attachment!! Too incapacitated to learn the lessons that God is trying His best to teach me!!
The earliest signs of emotional attachment recorded in my history dates back to a time when I was just four years old!! My father had to go out of station for a week and I was so disconsolate by the separation that I suffered from fever till he returned!!
Since then my life has been marked by several such incidents of addiction to extreme attachment!!
As children my paternal cousins, my immediate elder brother and I always lived in the beautiful and adventurous world created by Enid Blyton in her Famous Five series!! The two long summer months would go in adventurous activities - like reliving the characters in the Famous Five series!! We would make tent houses, exotic fruit drinks,(Ask my eldest brother, who has actually tasted them!!!:P!!), dramatize mythological stories , make crowns, bows, arrows, create settings - In other words it was a period of endless creativity!! It was enjoyment and excitement to its brim!! But summer after summer it was the same feeling when it was time to part with cousins!! It would take us really long to get over the heaviness in the heart and the lump in our throat!!
Decades have passed since then and with each passing year it has been more and more addiction to people! I miss my loved ones!!!! Especially my father and my third brother in law for even if I want to and make Mountainous efforts I still will never ever be able to see them!! Their death has somehow made me a different person!! I have come to realize the value of life and want to make the most of my time with my loved ones!!
Ironically the stronger I feel about about spending most of my time with my loved ones the farther God seems to keep me away from them!! My daughter , my sweet precious daughter is away from me living in a hostel!! Circumstances and necessity being the only reasons for our parting!! Though it is a self made decision it still strikes the deep inner recesses of my heart with an incurable ache !!I am now at a stage of addiction, from where there is no turning back - a total slave to this drug called emotional attachment!! Too incapacitated to learn the lessons that God is trying His best to teach me!!
well i totally agree that emotional attachment hurts a lot when people go away from us but then the beauty of it all is that it only makes us love more and more....as sum1 rightly said..distance makes the heart grow fonder...
ReplyDeletewe are all addicts now, aren't we?
ReplyDelete@Manasa - Yup!! Totally high on it!! But the one who is trying to wean us away from it is too powerful and so sort of scared!!
ReplyDelete@Rashmi - An addict cant see even good reasoning!!:P
mam...its actually a part of life.. i felt the pinch too... but yes it does hurt.. but on other side we dont realise the worth of that person when he/she is beside us.... when gone it makes us feel guilty...
ReplyDelete